This week on "37 days," Patti Digh posted an article entitled "Fund your own revolution" about how easy it is to blame "Them" for the things that we don't like about the world. Patti suggests that "We give up our power to the very people who took it away from us in the first place."
I think that to a certain extent this is absolutely true. Patti's point, at least the way I read her article, is that we can't afford to wait for "Them" to make the changes we are waiting for, and I couldn't agree more. This is also what I believe Mahatma Gandhi meant when he said that we must be the changes we want to see in the world.
On the other hand, to say that we give up our power to those who took it away also raises the question, "Who are 'They'?" Who took "Our" power away, and what makes "Us" so different from "Them"?
I believe that people who believe they can take power away from others are in turn victims of the generation of "They" who came before "Them." Someone taught "Them" to think the way that "They" do - whoever "They" are. "They" are just as truly victims of this inherited thinking as "We" are. Why do we even believe that anyone can take our power away from us? As soon as we believe this, we are "They." As soon as we believe this, we have bought into the same divisive thinking that plagues every group of "Them" that the world has ever known.
The same framework of thinking that creates "Them" also creates "Us." The very ideas of "Them" and "Us" arise from a belief in force, a belief in hierarchy, a belief in conflict. There is no real "Us" victimized by "Them." There are only human beings trapped in this way of thinking. As Patti points out, "They" may be able to control things like office windows and visitor chairs and cubicle space. But can "They" control anyone else's thoughts? Can "They" really force anyone else to believe in the divisions that "They" believe in?
What if we gave up the ideas of force and hierarchy altogether? What if we gave up the very idea of "Them"? What if we could laugh at the absurdity of anyone's need for the trappings of power - like office space and visitor chairs and windows? What if we could feel sorry for those who fear losing these things - those who fear that without them they are nothing? The simple truth is that "They" are always victims of their own thinking. "They" believe in winners and losers, and this thinking makes "Them" slaves to the illusions of control.
Believing in winners and losers traps us in a world of loneliness. It creates the illusion of "Us" and "Them" and forces us to spend a lot of energy maintaining those divisions. It may get "Them" corner offices and windows and visitor chairs, but it also deprives "Them" of any meaningful human connection. Why? Because there is always the fear of letting down the barriers, of dropping the illusion, of letting anyone else see the real human being inside. And trust me on this, "They" are just as human as everyone else. "They" need "Our" approval too. "They" need "Our" respect too. And that makes "Them" just as vulnerable as "We" are.
Someday, maybe - maybe even someday soon - pretend for just a moment that "They" are really no different than "We" are. Let go of the illusions of division, ignore all the trappings of "success," and approach one of "Them" as though they were not really separate from you. See yourself and this other person, for just a moment, simply as fellow human beings, both of you in need of connection, of appreciation, of acceptance - the greatest gifts that any human being can offer to any other. In that moment - in that beautiful, precious moment - offer that person these gifts from your true heart, and see what happens.
