Sitting in a church,
listening to my friend’s wife
as she remembers him to us
in our respectful silence.
She tells the story of their first date,
nothing fancy—dinner and a movie,
a slapstick film I don’t remember.
Bill loved that kind of silliness.
He laughed until he cried
while his future wife
eyed him suspiciously.
Slapstick wasn’t her thing.
As the credits rolled he turned to her,
his eyes still gleaming,
his sides still convulsing in giggles.
“Wasn’t that funny???”
Her expression politely stoic,
she shrugged, noncommittal,
and he saw her—truly saw her.
He had a gift for seeing people.
Wiping the tears from his face,
he smothered his laughter
and looked her straight in the eye.
“You’re right, it really wasn’t that funny.”
Standing in the graveyard
the overcast skies
reflect my isolation.
Perfect weather for a funeral.
His family at the grave,
we who worked with him
are scattered by the stones,
unsure of our place.
We pretend a certain friendship,
yet we never touch each other, even here.
Funeral behavior isn’t covered
in the office manual.
My heart cries out as I weep alone.
I reach for solace,
but no one returns my gaze.
Where is our comfort now?
The family’s turn
to bury husband and father—
ceremonious heaps of dirt
lowered onto the coffin.
The shovel is passed
to Bill’s small son,
no more than five years old.
The blade alone outweighs him.
Following their example,
he digs into the soil,
piles on as much as he can lift,
and spins awkwardly toward the grave.
Too late, he realizes his mistake.
A flash of surprise—he loses his balance;
falling in slow motion,
he tilts toward inevitability.
Quick as a wink,
a mother’s sure hand
darts forth to capture a shoulder
and rescues him from disaster.
Standing behind him,
she can not see his face,
but from across the grave
I have a better vantage point.
For one fleeting moment
time stands eternal,
my heart imprinted forever
by his mischievous grin.
As swiftly as it arrived,
it is gone, and I the only witness.
He smothers his amusement
as Bill once smothered his.
But I saw it—Bill’s smile;
even in a graveyard, I saw it,
and Bill and I were laughing
when the sun broke through the clouds.



























Comments (4)
I just want you to know how much this moved me. It brought a tear to my eye, not of sadness, but of hope. Thank you.
Posted by Rynn Walker | November 10, 2005 8:31 PM
Posted on November 10, 2005 20:31
You're more than welcome, Rynn. Thank you for taking the time to offer me the gift of such gracious feedback, and in a public forum no less. We all love to know that our words and actions are meaningful to others, but we don't always think to tell each other when it happens. So thank you in return. The gift of your kindness has touched my heart as well.
Fondly,
EM
Posted by EM Sky | November 11, 2005 12:13 PM
Posted on November 11, 2005 12:13
I have just discovered your blog - I'm so glad I did. This piece is so uplifting, your imagery is excellent. It reminded me of the funeral of a friend of ours I attended. Her son got up and told us how his mother had written a note or letter every single day when he was in high school. That message she gave to her son was full of love - and he is the richer for it.
But the kicker was when I spoke to his elder sister a few weeks later, and inquired whether she had also received the letters. "No never," she replied. "I got something just as valuable, my Mom often discussed those letters with me when she wrote them. I learnt such a lot about 'doing love' from her."
Funerals can be events for positive change. Thanks for your story.
Posted by Dave | December 3, 2005 6:05 PM
Posted on December 3, 2005 18:05
Hi, Dave. Thanks for sharing your own story with us. I love it when my posts inspire active dialogue.
This is a wonderful story, and a wonderful reminder to cherish the gifts we receive from others rather than comparing them to the gifts that others receive. It sounds like that mother knew exactly what gift would reach each of her children, and that in itself is a tremendous gift!
To give always the best that we can give - both to others and to ourselves; to hear always what others need - even when those needs are different from our own. These are perhaps the greatest masteries in life.
Thanks again, Dave,
- EM
Posted by EM Sky | December 3, 2005 7:34 PM
Posted on December 3, 2005 19:34