Some people say that raindrops are the tears of the heavens, but maybe that's backwards. I think maybe tears are the rain of life.

Like rain, tears are cleansing. They can wash away grief, anger, fear... all the sorrows of human kind. They melt away our suffering, leaving us fresh, renewed, and our hearts become a fertile ground for new joys.

Why, then, do we act as though tears were such a travesty? No one enjoys grief, but tears are a welcome relief to the open heart. Emotions, after all, are not just in our heads. Emotions are chemical states that originate in the mind but are carried throughout our bodies, responding on a cellular level. We need our tears to wash our grief away.

Given the way we start out in life, it's amazing that so many relationships work out as well as they do. We spend most of our young lives desperately avoiding any and all traits that "belong to" the opposite sex, and then as adults we are suddenly invited to embrace that very opposite (in another human being, of course) and forge life-long bonds of love, romance, companionship, and mutual understanding. And we wonder why relationships seem so complicated...

Any girl will tell you that the worst thing you can be called as a young teen is a "slut." (Not that grown women would appreciate the epithet, but at some point labels stop having the same power to affect our sense of self-worth.)

But when you think about it, what does this particular slur mean? A "slut" is supposed to be a girl who sleeps around, right? She's a girl who likes sex, or who is more sexually expressive than her peers.

Why is this such an insult? It's simple really: in our world, sexuality is supposed to belong to the realm of men. (The biological origin of the six billion people on this planet being, of course, a complete mystery.) So if blatant sexuality is "a guy thing," then to call a girl a slut is to claim that she acts like a boy in her sexuality--which is seen as deeply offensive.

By tradition, there has been a philosophical divide between non-profit and for-profit companies. Non-profit companies exist for some higher purpose. For-profit companies simply do not. But why should we make this assumption? The code that distinguishes for-profit from non-profit companies is a tax code, not an attempt to regulate our ideologies.

If you want your organization to get out of paying some taxes, and you want to be able to accept tax-deductible donations, then you can apply for 501c3 status (that's the US tax code covering most non-profit entities). In exchange for this rather extraordinary concession, you must give up your own right to take home company profits.

In short, you can't get rich off of tax-free dollars. But nowhere does the code insist that taxable dollars must be raised through pure, unadulterated greed.

A time is coming when humanity will give up its addiction to competition and embrace a brighter future. We will come to understand that the world is in fact a place of integrity--which means not just honesty but a sort of "tied-together-ness." Everything--and everyone--has a role to fulfill.

When we give up the idea of competition and accept the fact that we matter--that by the simple act of living we innately matter--then we open the way to passionate mastery.

Such mastery can not be achieved from within a competitive framework because that framework is ultimately based on fear. We fear losing. We fear the ugly prospect of failure. But the possibility of failure is not inherent to the world. It is an invention of the human mind.

One thing I've learned in every human relationship is that it's important to let the small things stay small. Not every problem needs "solving." Some just need a friendly ear. Or maybe a hug. Nothing smooths out the rough spots in life like a little sympathy.

For these little bumps in the road, I like to apply what I call "the other kind of sorry." Not "I'm sorry," the apology. But "I'm sorry," the expression of compassion.

When did our human moments of frustration become such terrible burdens anyway? It seems sometimes as if we can't share any small sadness without someone rushing in either to criticize savagely or to "coach" us through the problem.

While evolving from criticizing to coaching is certainly a step in the right direction, I think it's time we backed off a bit and questioned just how much coaching we really want to be doing. Small problems, after all, call for small solutions. Big solutions only serve to make small problems into bigger ones.

I originally posted the following story last year on the Win-Win Web blog. I ran across it as I was reorganizing the Win-Win Web Archives, and I decided to modify it a bit and post it again here for the benefit of the new Mind Unbound readership. Enjoy!

Human beings are a clannish bunch. Look around you. Our tribes are everywhere. They are the tables of the high school cafeteria, the fraternities of the college campus, the divisions of the corporate organizational chart. Honestly people, can't we all just get along?

Apparently not. Or at least, not without a lot of encouragement.

Many years ago, while I was volunteering for a certain non-profit organization, I was assigned the dull but critical task of summarizing all feedback received from the general public. This feedback was funneled through the marketing department, and every week it was my responsibility to generate a report regarding the nature of these comments.

During my first few weeks on the job, I discovered that sometimes letters from the organization's members came in through the public channel, so of course I offered to run them over to the development office. Instead, the marketing manager told me to throw them away.

If competition is a lousy way to motivate people, what can we replace it with? To discover the answer, we have to reframe the question.

Asking how to motivate people assumes that motivation is something people do to other people. People praise each other, punish each other, judge each other, motivate each other. But the best motivation doesn't come from anyone else. The best motivation comes from within. So the real question is, "under what circumstances do people naturally feel motivated?"

I spent this past weekend attending the bi-annual "Mythic Journeys" conference in Atlanta, GA. Wow! What a fantastic weekend!

Inspired by the works of Joseph Campbell, the conference is devoted to conversations around myth, society, and the power of story. Presenters included Coleman Barks, Deepak Chopra, Betty Sue Flowers, Sobonfu Somé, and a host of other talented individuals.

The voice talents of Fred Johnson were simply beyond words, adding a spirit and vitality to the opening and closing ceremonies that blew me away.

The conference won't be held again until 2008, but it's one not to miss. You can sign up here for their newsletter, or you can stay tuned to Mind Unbound--I'll be posting the registration site for the 2008 conference when the time comes.

Yesterday was my birthday, and I decided to treat myself to a day off. On your next birthday, nurture your relationship with yourself, and treat yourself to your own luxury. A day at the spa? A day in the mountains? A day at the beach? A day at home with your family? Whatever your luxury is, you're worth it!

The idea of competition lies at the very heart of our entire socio-economic system. We are taught that competition is a good way to motivate people, that it guarantees an optimal distribution of resources, that it builds character. Unfortunately, we couldn't be more wrong.

There's a big difference between competitive ideas and competitive people. Trying different things to see what works well is definitely worthwhile. When a new idea works better than an old one, there's no problem with throwing the old one away. But people are a different story.

Gift giving is a wonderful part of any courtship or long-term relationship. Small gifts say,"I've been thinking about you." Expensive gifts say, "You're worth a lot to me." But the very best gifts are the thoughtful, creative gifts that say, "I wanted to give you something special, just for you."

You don't have to be "good at romance" or have a lot of money to be creative for that special someone.

The trick to creative gift giving is to put some thought into it. Who is this person? What do they like? What do they enjoy doing? The gift can be an object or it can be an experience. But whatever its nature, a thoughtful and creative gift will show the recipient that you have been listening to them, that you know (or are getting to know) who they really are, and that you want to go that extra mile for them.

This is the new home of Win-Win Web, the original blog that started this little blogging empire.

Posts cover the months from September 2005 to May 2006.

Thank you for reading Win-Win Web and joining me for the early days of this blogging adventure. Although Win-Win Web is no longer being updated, you can see new Mind Unbound posts here.

Come on in, cruise around, and browse to your heart's content. If you're not sure where to begin, you can find my very favorite Win-Win Web posting trilogy here. Enjoy!