A time is coming when humanity will give up its addiction to competition and embrace a brighter future. We will come to understand that the world is in fact a place of integrity--which means not just honesty but a sort of "tied-together-ness." Everything--and everyone--has a role to fulfill.
When we give up the idea of competition and accept the fact that we matter--that by the simple act of living we innately matter--then we open the way to passionate mastery.
Such mastery can not be achieved from within a competitive framework because that framework is ultimately based on fear. We fear losing. We fear the ugly prospect of failure. But the possibility of failure is not inherent to the world. It is an invention of the human mind.
We think that failure has its own tangible reality because we see it all around us, even in the animal kingdom. The animal that fails to catch its prey fails to eat. The animal that fails to escape its predator fails to survive. But "failure" is in fact a label we place upon these events. An animal has no word for "failure." It has only feelings of hunger and satiation, feelings of chase-now and flee-now. An animal does not berate itself over factual events.
"Failure" is a human experience. It is an idea--a judgment--about the results of our efforts in the world. Take a test, for example: get more than half of the questions wrong, and you have "failed." But what if tests didn't work that way?
What if getting more than half the questions wrong just meant that you needed to learn those things a bit more thoroughly? What if you had as many chances as you needed to get more than half of the questions right? What if nothing went on your "permanent record" until you finally got an "A"? Would you still call your early attempts "failures"? And even if you did, would that word still have the same meaning?
We have created the concept of "failure" by creating a system of negative consequences. "Failures" are captured, reviewed, permanently tracked, and forever averaged into the statistics of a life. But is that how we really want to live?
Those who achieve passionate mastery are those who at some point manage to set aside that frame of reference and see life--or at the very least, some particular aspect of life--through new eyes. "Failures" becoming nothing more than experiences.
That's what we're striving for when we say to ourselves, as a half-hearted sort of condolence, "Well, it was a learning experience." But the very fact that we're half-hearted about it means we're not quite there yet.
When failure ceases to be a "mistake" and reverts to the unbiased experience of life--free from judgment and self-beration--that's when true learning begins. Then "mistakes" lead naturally to "aha" moments of achievement: "Hmm... Why didn't that work? ... OH! I need to do THIS instead!"
The true power of failure as a learning experience is only unleashed when we stop getting upset about it. And we won't change our cultural tendency to get upset about it until we stop putting such permanent consequences on it. Who can let go of failure and learn from it when people keep writing it down and sending it home for signatures and parental conferences?
Failure in our world becomes something to hide, when in fact it should be something that prompts us to turn to each other and say, "Hey, this didn't work. What do you think we should try instead?" Imagine how far a single generation of children could go who grew up without any fear of failing--who grew up knowing they could turn to each other for help at any time and be rewarded with a kind word, a helpful suggestion, and not a single lick of disparagement.
I imagine it. Heck, I imagine it all the time. It's not where we are today, but it's where we're going. And that's what keeps me going. Even when I can't see it around me, I can still see it. One fearless generation could change everything.
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