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« Real Human Productivity: Trust the "Squidgy" Cycle | Main | What Children Know About Human Nature »

The Values of My Childhood in a World of Global Connection

Children_on_computer Most of us understand how much we mean to our close friends and family, but it's easy to forget how much our "presence" can mean to others, even outside of these intimate circles. We simply haven't yet internalized the profound connectedness of the modern world.

I was born on the very cusp of the computer generation. I am young enough that the first personal computers were released on the market when I was still in high school. I have fond memories of learning the ins and outs of my Radio Shack TRS-80--a model I should have kept since it would have been a collector's item by now--when modems were clunky boxes that you physically smashed against your telephone's headset and software was stored on cassette tapes that you had to pause and rewind just like your VCR.

The day is coming when young adults will no longer know what a VCR is.

But I am old enough to remember a time before VCR's, before cable television, before cell phones, and  before answering machines....

I am also old enough to remember the track "Darling Nikki" as it was originally released by Prince and the Revolution on the album Purple Rain. A young friend of mine was recently listening to the Foo Fighters version, released in 2003, and I commented that I thought the cover was pretty good.

"Yeah," he replied."Um... who did it first?" Never have I felt quite so old as I did in that moment.

But most importantly, I am old enough to have been culturally programmed in a time before the Internet had morphed into the web, before e-mail was a given, and therefore before people could reach out to each other across the great divide--across oceans and time zones and cultural barriers--connecting instantly at any time of day or night to just about anyone they choose.

In the world of my childhood, distant communication was conducted by telephone or by "snail mail"--which was just plain "mail" in those days. If you didn't have someone's telephone number or address, they were not so easy to find. Even public listings had a certain aura of privacy about them. "Looking someone up" was almost considered rude.

Today, the opposite is true. While we may still guard a home address or a private line, there are more public ways to find us that we advertise with abandon. And thousands upon thousands of us post our daily thoughts in the public forum, inviting others into conversation. But we aren't entering into those conversations with others like we could be. Even in this shared global space, we are still enacting the paradigm of the private life.

Old programming dies hard, and when I was young, books and articles were digested and then filed away. It was impossible to contact the author of every book you read. Even if you could find an address, it was not easy to engage in a dialog, and you had no way of knowing without first contacting them whether they wanted to be contacted at all.

But the web has completely transformed this phenomenon. Authors who want to be in conversation with their readers have web sites, blogs, chat rooms and open forums. The bulk of an author's writings may even be published in these venues. Authors are inviting conversation, and we are failing to join in because we don't think to investigate the possibility.

I love receiving comments from readers on my blogs, and frankly I haven't been reaching out often enough to offer my own comments to others. We live in a time of global conversation, but we aren't going to benefit from it if we don't participate.

Having recognized my error, you can rest assured I will be reaching out. From now on, every time I finish a book, I will look up the author on the web, if only to leave a single sentence or two of appreciation for their efforts. Authors spend months out of their lives preparing manuscripts that I am willing to spend hours out of my own life reading. Surely taking three minutes to thank them wouldn't be out of line. I'm starting to see my earlier habit of indifference as an appalling lack of manners.

In the same vein, I will never again read a full web article or blog post without leaving a quick comment, assuming that a method is provided for doing so. If I find it worth my time to read the entire post, then surely I also have the time to leave a brief thank you.

Embracing this shift into the global culture of interconnection may require a few new habits--even a new mindset--but ironically these changes are only serving to bring my life back into line with the fundamental principles of my childhood: gratitude, honor, respect, and integrity.

I was taught to receive gifts graciously, remembering always to say "thank you." I was taught to respond to others whenever I was spoken to--to do otherwise would have been the height of rudeness. I was taught to be considerate of others--to be thoughtful, and to offer up small kindnesses wherever possible. It's time I learned to embody these principles in this brave new world of connection. It's time I understood what it means to be a true citizen of a global humanity.




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Comments (9)

Excellent post, EM! I have the album (not the CD) from Purple Rain. I even have some Prince albums from *before* anyone had ever heard "1999." Do you recognize the snippet(different song) "...I'll live my life in taxicabs."?

I am certainly guilty of blog drive-by's, voyeuristic reading of blog posts, and what not. Sometimes I have a good excuse (like reading offline in Sharpreader). But often, I'm just a glutton for content and don't take the time to comment.

I realize I've been reading Mind Unbound since you launched it but haven't done much commenting.

Thanks for reminding me to be more two-way.

You know EM, I believe that values seeded in childhood can and do emerge within online communities. I think we see that in our Ho'ohana community.

You'd be surprised at the authors who get back on your acknowledgements too! I've been doing it for years.

EM Sky:

Dwayne -

"Annie Christian" off the (rather aptly named) Contoversy album. But I prefer "Darling Nikki"... ;)

Thanks for reading, Dwayne, and thanks for the comment. I'll be commenting more frequently on your own blog, too, which I also read regularly!

Dave -

Thanks for the confirmation. You'll be seeing more of my comments on your blog, too--promise!

Hi em :)

Well..you know... hahaha I'm a "feedback" afficionado from way back.

I love getting feedback so I like to give it too. It's just "nice" to do that.

Manners and etiquette are probably "old fashioned" concepts but they still do a fair bit to generate good will and harmony between people afterall. :)

As always em you have hit a topical nerve m'dear. Well done! :)

Mitch

EM:

Mitch -

You've been one of my strongest supporters from the very beginning, and I've been HORRIBLY negligent about your own blog. Well, you have my heart-felt apologies, and my neglect stops right now. I had fallen off on all my own blog reading--having taken on far too much--but I just checked back in on your site and found it jam packed with recent posts! Awesome!

I'm paring down my blog list to an active number I can actually stay on top of, and yours is going right to the top of the list, m'dear. Thanks so much for sticking with me...

That's Mitch from Australia everybody, writing on genius, "as well as faith, hope, love and living coherently" at http://www.amusinggenius.blogspot.com.

- EM

Fire up the Way Back Machine, Sherman... Mr. Peabody is on a mission! Great post, EM. Being a parent of small children, I'm reminded how much things have changed since I was their age (it sounds like we're from the same age group). As children, we had the freedom to explore entire neighborhoods on our bicycles as long as we showed up at home for lunch and dinner (or to tattle on siblings, as needed). We grew up in a world without boundaries. I feel sad that my children will not know that world of "little risk" and that any chance-taking will probably need to be engineered from behind the scenes. You've brought back a flood of memories, EM... of childhood, of music, of technology, of literature, and of life. Well done!

EM Sky:

Hey, Timothy. I grew up the same way. Out in the neighborhood until dark, riding my bike to the town library or to the local park... We even kept our doors unlocked most of the time. I didn't know how lucky I was until I got out into the world a bit and discovered that for so many people, living with that level of trust is considered a luxury. I pray for a world one day in which trust becomes an expectation, not a surprise.

In the meantime, I think by keeping our kids safe and--as you so perfectly said--engineering some safe risk-taking from behind the scenes, our own kids can grow up with that same feeling of security. It's not the world outside but the world inside that matters. - EM

is it okay if I blush now?

hahahaha

You are so sweet em! (and no! You do NOT have to reply to this one or you'll never get around to writing more insightful stuff on your blog! ;) hehehe)

Mitch

EM Sky:

Mitch - Well, a short response then. Blush away... you're the best! - EM

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