I'm at the grocery store this past weekend, and I see these signs everywhere that look like sale tags. The bright yellow markers are spread out here and there along the shelves, proclaiming one bargain or another.

Here's what they say: "Everyday Low Price!"

So, not sales then. Just the illusion of sales. A trick to snare the subconscious mind.

Don't get angry with the grocery store. It's not the store's fault. This is how our culture approaches human decision-making. Caveat emptor--buyer beware. Lying is bad, but subtle manipulation is just good marketing.

I have to wonder, what would the world look like if our highest value were a profound respect for the rights of others to make their own decisions? Can we even imagine what such a world would look like?

I think we can begin to imagine it. It's not that we're bad people. It's just cultural training.

Here's that training again in another context...

"Hey, honey, let's go see that new action film tonight."

"But we saw that other action film last time, remember? Let's go see the new dramatic one that's out."

"That wasn't really an action film last time. That was more of a comedy, really. We haven't seen a real action film in forever."

"Sure we have. That film last month was an action film, remember? And this new film has some action in it. You saw the previews, right?"

"Yeah, but it's not a real action film. This one is a real action film. And it has that actor you like in it..."

How much time do you suppose we spend in a single lifetime trying to convince people to do things they don't really want to do? I hesitate to even guess. But if we really respected each other's feelings on a fundamental level, conversations would run in entirely different directions.

"Hey, honey, let's go see that new action film tonight."

"I'm not really in the mood for an action film. I'd be interested in seeing the new drama that's out, though. Would you like to see that?"

"No, that one doesn't sound very interesting to me. Do you want to go see different movies?"

"Not really. I'd rather spend some time together this evening. Is there something else you'd like to do that I might enjoy too?"

I'm not talking about refusing to compromise. Sometimes we're willing to sit through a less-than-thrilling movie for someone we love. Sometimes we're not. But easily accepting "no" for an answer would leave more room for people to say "yes" more often.

When we know that our deepest feelings will be respected, we have a lot more energy left over to explore new experiences, to stretch our boundaries, and most importantly, to take care of each other.