EM: Welcome back to The Cobblestone Cafe! I'm here today with... now let me make sure I get this right... Suriesta, Fluoritian Crystal Being. Welcome, Suriesta!

Suriesta: Why thank you, most delightful EM. It is a great pleasure for me to interact directly with this plane, if only temporarily.

EM: So tell me, Suriesta, what exactly is a Fluoritian Crystal Being? I can't say I'm familiar with the term. Is that a new thing?

Suriesta: Oh heavens no! Crystal Beings are almost as ancient as the Universe itself. But we are relatively new to Earth. We protect beings on the physical plane against negative thought manifestations.

EM: I'm sorry, negative thought manifestations?

Suriesta: Of course. Say, for example, you see something in a store window that you would like to own, but the very sight of it makes you think to yourself, "I'll never be able to afford something like that."

EM: Sure, okay, like a yacht or something.

Suriesta: Well, yes. Certainly. It works even with smaller things, but a yacht will suffice as an example.

EM: Yeah, so then what do you do?

Suriesta: Because I exist on a higher energy plane, my crystalline structure can cancel out that negative thought, protecting your aura. Normally, such thoughts would act against your future potential. I make sure that doesn't happen.

EM: So if you aren't around, and I think to myself, even once, "I could never afford a yacht," then I'll never be able to?

Suriesta: [crystalline laughter] No, no. Of course not. A single thought won't change the entire course of your future. But it can change the odds, you see. The potentials. After one thought, maybe you're just .01 percent less likely to attract that level of prosperity into your life. But if you think that way enough, it can add up. Eventually, the possibilities can shift significantly.

EM: But you make sure that doesn't happen.

Suriesta: Precisely. I transmute that negative energy.

EM: So can you actually improve my chances of getting a yacht?

Suriesta: Um... I can limit your chances of not getting one...

EM: But you can't just manifest me a yacht?

Suriesta: No, I can't, but that's a very negative way of viewing the situation.

EM: Yeah, but you just saved me from that, right? I mean, that's your job.

Suriesta: Well...

EM: I can say, "Hey, you're no help at all!" And then poof - gone! Like I never said it!

Suriesta: Actually, I can't help you if you start doing it on purpose.

EM: Why not? "You can't help me, you useless hunk of crystal!" Poof! Gone!

Suriesta: Now you've done it... Intentional negativity gets handled by the Karmic Defenders, young lady. I'd skedaddle if I were you.

EM: Oooooooh. I'm so scared. What? I called the karma police?

Karmic Defender: [shimmering in from thin air and speaking in thunderous voice] You there. Human woman. Are you the one yelling about yachts?

EM: Uh oh. Gotta go.

Aaaaaaaaand three... two... one... We're clear.

Karmic Defender: Hey, Suri. What's the gig?

Suriesta: Interview, you know. Just getting the word out.

Karmic Defender: Good, good. So... she coming back?

Suriesta: I doubt it. Want to grab some coffee?

Karmic Defender: Yeah, okay. And maybe some donuts? I love donuts. [booming footsteps fade into the distance]