EM: Hey, everybody! I'm here this week at The Cobblestone Cafe with security dog, Jake Sky. Say "hi" to the audience, Jake!

Jake: Hi.

EM: So, Jake, tell us. What's it like being a security dog?

Jake: I'm hungry.

EM: Ha ha ha. Okay, seriously though. Being a security dog must have its dangerous moments. What the greatest danger you've ever faced?

Jake: Starving to death.

EM: Come on now, Jake. You've lived with me for over fourteen years. You're hardly starving to death.

Jake: Feels like it.

EM: Jake...

Jake: No, really. You want to know what I feel like? I'm hungry all the time. Every minute, every day. Hungry. That's it. My entire existence summed up in a single word.

EM: I fed you twice today.

Jake: Hungry.

EM: Maybe even three times. I think I gave you two dinners by mistake.

Jake: Still hungry.

EM: But the vet says you're in perfect condition!

Jake: What does she know? Is she a dog? Does she know what it feels like to be ravenously hungry all day long? I don't think so.

EM: But surely you haven't been hungry every minute of your life?

Jake: Well, okay. There was that one time. You remember. When I got into the garbage while you were out? Oh man that was a good day. Old Chinese food, half a loaf of stale bread, chicken scraps... Heck, I was full!

EM: Well, there you go.

Jake: Humph. One day in my whole life, and you think that's a good thing?

EM: Oh please. You're fine.

Jake: No way. I'm telling you. Starving.

EM: Hmm... I'm afraid I'm going to have to prove you wrong there, Jake. Hey, Larry, can we roll that clip now?

Larry: Sure thing, EM.

EM: There. You're obviously not starving.

Jake: I want my lawyer.

And... three, two, one... we're clear. That's a wrap.

EM: Jake, seriously. What's with all the talk like you're starving? You're making me look bad.

Jake: Hey, it's nothing personal. I'm just playing to the sympathy crowd. Looking for a care package or two, you know?

EM: Nobody's going to send you anything to eat.

Jake: Yeah, well, we'll see. So listen, is that hospitality tray for me? Because I heard Tym got to take his home...